Women have shitty taste in movies.
Movie a man would enjoy: Fade from black to the jungles of Vietnam. The year is 1965. Guys say stuff like, “‘Nam,” “Charlie,” and “Boom-Boom” a lot. By the way, “Boom-Boom” doesn’t mean what you think it does – it means getting laid in Vietnam in 1965. Machine guns. Explosions. Titties. The end.
A movie a woman would enjoy: Fade into a soft-light shot of some douche (Matthew McConaughey) probably wearing a Bob Knight sweater, his hair too long to be practical, and wondering if he should have used more conditioner. Feelings. Love. Feelings. Crying. Feelings. Love. The end.*
Clearly the first movie should win an Oscar for being awesome, but won’t. Chick movies always win Oscars because chicks dig the awards show. Average Guys don’t give a fuck about the awards show unless some starlet’s boob falls out of her dress. Even then we see it on Google Images the next morning (don’t forget to turn off SafeSearch). The Oscars? Pfft. We have more important things to do, like watch movies where guys say stuff like, “’Nam,” and “Boom-Boom.”
Now leave me alone. I have to go look at Scarlett Johansson’s boobs on the Internet.